Getting children ready in the morning can sometimes feel like a test of patience. You ask them to brush their teeth, get dressed and comb their hair. They say they will do it, but a few minutes later, you find them playing with a toy or doing something completely different. So you repeat the instructions, only to find yourself reminding them again.Before assuming that a child is being careless or deliberately ignoring you, it is worth understanding how memory develops during early childhood. Psychologists explain that remembering to complete a task later is a skill children are still learning. Knowing what they have to do does not always mean they can remember to do it at the right time. This ability is called prospective memory. It helps us remember future intentions, from taking something to school to completing a routine before leaving the house. For young children, managing these small responsibilities can be surprisingly challenging.
5 Oct 2026 | 12:06
Parents, when your child refuses to greet relatives, do you make them say hello or respect their choice?
Knowing what to do is not the same as remembering to do it
Imagine asking a four-year-old to brush their teeth after breakfast. The child may understand the instruction and even repeat it correctly. However, once breakfast is over, a toy, a conversation or another activity may capture their attention. The original instruction can slip from their mind. This happens because prospective memory involves more than remembering information. Children must recognise when a task needs to be done, notice the right cues and shift their attention away from whatever they are doing.Research published in Cognitive Development has examined how this ability develops in preschoolers. Findings suggest that children’s performance improves as they grow, but remembering an intention and acting on it at the correct moment remain two different challenges. A 2025 study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology looked at 88 children between three and six years old. Researchers examined whether verbal reminders helped children remember to carry out an intended action. The reminders did not significantly improve their performance.The findings do not suggest that parents should stop communicating with their children. Instead, they highlight why repeating the same instruction may not always solve the problem. A child who is busy with another activity may need something more noticeable than another verbal reminder.
Make the next step easier for children to notice
Sometimes, the solution may lie in changing the surroundings rather than repeating instructions. When children can see the things they need, it may become easier for them to remember the next step in their routine. Parents can try keeping the toothbrush in an easy-to-reach place, setting out clothes before bedtime or placing the schoolbag near the door. A chart with simple pictures showing the morning routine can also help children understand what comes next.A 2023 review published in Psychological Research explored strategies that may improve children’s prospective memory. It considered visual and verbal cues, among other approaches, and found that visual reminders could support children’s ability to remember intended actions. However, the results differed depending on the task and situation.This means a picture chart or a strategically placed object may be worth trying, but parents should not expect it to work immediately or in every situation. It is also important to consider what the child is doing when a request is made. Asking them to get dressed while they are concentrating on a game or another activity can make it harder to switch tasks. Allowing them to finish what they are doing before introducing the next step may help reduce distractions.
When children are not forgetting, but putting things off
There is another reason a child may leave a task unfinished. They might remember exactly what they need to do but simply prefer doing something else. This behaviour is known as procrastination. It involves delaying an intended task even when there is a reason to complete it. Research published in Developmental Psychology in 2023 examined procrastination among children aged three to six. Based on parents’ reports, younger children often delayed everyday routines and cleaning up, while older children were also reported to put off chores and schoolwork. The research explored how procrastination relates to developing abilities such as executive functioning and thinking about the future. These skills help children manage their actions, stay focused and work towards a goal.For parents, making routine activities more enjoyable may be one way to encourage cooperation. Brushing teeth can become a short game, while getting dressed can turn into a race against a favourite song. Giving children a choice between two outfits or allowing them to complete a small task independently can also make them feel more involved. The idea is not to turn every responsibility into a reward-based activity. Rather, making an otherwise dull task more interesting may help children approach it with greater enthusiasm.
Help children practise thinking ahead
Children also need opportunities to understand why certain tasks must be completed before something else happens. Parents can encourage this by asking simple questions about situations they may face later. Before leaving home, for example, ask, “What might you need if it gets cold?” Instead of packing everything for a child, parents can ask what should go into the schoolbag. Such conversations encourage children to think about what may happen next and prepare for it.A study published in Child Development in 2020 examined how children aged three and four use past experiences when thinking about future situations. It found that children at this age can have difficulty using what they already know to anticipate what they might need later. Parents can make these conversations more engaging by using familiar people or imaginary characters. Asking what a friend might wear on a rainy day or what a superhero would pack for a school trip can encourage children to consider another person’s needs and think ahead.The next time your child forgets to brush their teeth or delays getting dressed, remember that these tasks involve skills that are still developing. Repeated instructions may not always be enough, but visible cues, manageable routines and playful activities can offer useful support. Children do not become organised overnight. With practice, guidance and patience, they gradually learn to remember their responsibilities and complete them more independently.
